I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
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You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
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Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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