Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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