All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I need moral support for this bender
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize