I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize