Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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