I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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