I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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