Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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