about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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