just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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