We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
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We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
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I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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