the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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