She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize