Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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