Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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