"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
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I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
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I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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