hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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