no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
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She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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