god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize