I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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