Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo

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  (323): just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo http://tfl.nu/xr1e
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.

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  (773): He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed. http://tfl.nu/ua73
  Replies (5) Good night (760) Bad night (1852) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was like, "um, that's my butthole."

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  (215): I was like, "um, that's my butthole." http://tfl.nu/5utz
  Replies (32) Good night (1684) Bad night (6244) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again

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  (740): There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again http://tfl.nu/gd8v
  Replies (15) Good night (4542) Bad night (1068) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours

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  (347): i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours http://tfl.nu/3wc8
  Replies (33) Good night (4270) Bad night (1641) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.

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  (320): I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me. http://tfl.nu/008l
  Replies (12) Good night (909) Bad night (4433) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.

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  (304): he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding. http://tfl.nu/d3lt
  Replies (26) Good night (5960) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.

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  (412): I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is. http://tfl.nu/ejf0
  Replies (12) Good night (5007) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.

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  (916): WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN. http://tfl.nu/3mw6
  Replies (8) Good night (3252) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.

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  (216): The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first. http://tfl.nu/lmqj
  Replies (8) Good night (1838) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.

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  (515): He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend. http://tfl.nu/m6dn
  Replies (10) Good night (2794) Bad night (636)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I just found it. I hope it leads to food.

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  (302): Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm... (302): I just found it. I hope it leads to food. http://tfl.nu/w6o4
  Replies (7) Good night (1742) Bad night (537)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.

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  (304): I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/ox4w
  Replies (3) Good night (2192) Bad night (484)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.

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  (317): hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room. http://tfl.nu/qubv
  Replies (14) Good night (616) Bad night (2100) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.

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  (817): Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light. http://tfl.nu/nfnq
  Replies (5) Good night (391) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt

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