I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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