It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
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I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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