Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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