I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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