I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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