Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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