The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize