Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize