you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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