watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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