She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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