You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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