If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize