end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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