Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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