Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

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  (904): I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom. http://tfl.nu/lxr2
  Replies (18) Good night (1198) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of

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  (910): In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of http://tfl.nu/tguw
  Replies (33) Good night (4746) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  im six kinds of drunk right now

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  (520): im six kinds of drunk right now http://tfl.nu/4cbw
  Replies (18) Good night (3921) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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  (302): is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/hrqs
  Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (3710) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.

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  (707): It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling. http://tfl.nu/12gk
  Replies (9) Good night (545) Bad night (3665) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks

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  (631): I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks http://tfl.nu/hotd
  Replies (244) Good night (961) Bad night (3771) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party

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  (574): There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party http://tfl.nu/2g1j
  Replies (5) Good night (2285) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night

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  (732): His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/6kh8
  Replies (11) Good night (2376) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.

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  (770): Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out. http://tfl.nu/a31o
  Replies (12) Good night (4940) Bad night (747) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.

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  (903): I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish. http://tfl.nu/384h
  Replies (13) Good night (2357) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he's just a really huge penis that sells weed

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  (978): he's just a really huge penis that sells weed http://tfl.nu/ammy
  Replies (18) Good night (1569) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.

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  (856): I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy. http://tfl.nu/827v
  Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again

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  (401): I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again http://tfl.nu/o3kd
  Replies (14) Good night (2034) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married

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  (941): Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married http://tfl.nu/yr2i
  Replies (6) Good night (661) Bad night (1490) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.

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  (630): Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head. http://tfl.nu/xpy4
  Replies (9) Good night (1988) Bad night (880)

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