so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
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My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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