we have officially lost it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
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Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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