What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize