Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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