eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize