I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think my moral compass just broke
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize