saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize