there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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