Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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