$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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