apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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