I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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