I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize